triggernometry (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
triggernometry) wrote2012-05-24 01:48 pm
triggernometry) wrote2012-05-24 01:48 pm
Mid-Morning of the Dead
For my Drama 101 class, our big "final" assignment is to write a one-act play. If it's good enough, it might get picked to be performed for my school's student one-act play festival! I just started it, and here's what I got so far. It's basically gonna be two zombies talking to each other and making fun of horror movie or zombie cliches in the process.
MID-MORNING OF THE DEAD
CHARACTERS:
DILLON: Young, fresh zombie with a cowboy hat. In his early twenties, and something of a country boy with a southern accent.
NEIL: Older, veteran zombie showing DILLON how to deal with being undead. Used to be a county sheriff before he got was bit. Has a limp because of a barely-there leg.
JOE: Stereotypical “city slicker” survivor who’s trying to escape the city with fellow survivor BOBBIE. Hot-headed leader between the two, often falls victim to horror movie clichés.
BOBBIE: Another “city slicker” type. Questioning of JOE’S actions occasionally but his suggestions tend to fall flat.
HOT ZOMBIE: Your typical shuffling, moaning zombie. The only female in the story, who DILLON constantly (and unsuccessfully) tries to flirt with.
SETTING:
The action of this play takes place on a trashed street of an unnamed city. Blood, decay, trash, and abandoned belongings litter it, the result of the zombie apocalypse. There’s an empty convenience store in the background, equally trashed from having been looted in the past. Also in the background to the left of the convenience store is a dank alley. On both sides of the stage there should be enough room for actors to move from one end to the other.
(It’s the middle of the morning and another day in the zombie apocalypse. It’s gloomy and has an air of what you would expect from a horror movie. Eerie music begins to play as DILLON and NEIL enter, shuffling around in typical zombie gait. They wander the stage aimlessly for about five seconds before a gunshot seems to snap them out of it. Their heads shoot up to look in the direction of the sound. NEIL immediately limps in the convenience store. He motions for DILLON to follow, but in a panic DILLON freezes. As JOE and BOBBIE run on stage from the right with guns, DILLON poses like the zombies he’s seen in his favorite horror movies when he was human. He stares at the ground and sways back and forth to make it seem like he hasn’t noticed them. JOE and BOBBIE stop center stage and look around.)
BOBBIE: You got any idea of where the hell we are?
JOE: Of course I do! (He clearly doesn’t.) Whaddaya think I am?!
BOBBIE: Joe, I think we’re lost.
JOE: Shaddap! (BOBBIE visibly flinches, which amuses JOE.) This is why I’M the brains of this operation, smart guy. (He’s clearly not.) Now let’s see, uh…
(BOBBIE watches JOE unamused as he wanders around the stage, trying to figure out where to go. NEIL pokes his head out the window of the convenience store, but quickly ducks back down when JOE turns around and sees DILLON.)
JOE: Well look-ee what we got here! This one looks like he wandered a little too far away from home! (He approaches DILLON and looks him over. He lifts his hat off with the tip of his gun and points it at his head with sadistic pleasure. DILLON doesn’t do anything, but his “zombie” act is wavering in fear.) You wouldn’t look so ugly with your head gone…
(Hearing that, NEIL tries to sneak through the door out. He slowly creeps up behind JOE and BOBBIE as they talk to figure out how to save DILLON. They don’t notice.)
BOBBIE: I dunno. This one looks dumb, it’s not doing anything. We ought to save our bullets for something that’s actually going to fight ba—
JOE: (Annoyed, he puts down the gun and turns to BOBBIE.) Bobbie. You ever heard of a brain to mouth filter?
BOBBIE: What?
(JOE his hand on his shoulder and turns him away from DILLON. NEIL sees his chance and edges along the walls of the convenience store to grab DILLON. DILLON, with a newfound confidence now that there’s no gun pointed to his head, creeps behind the two survivors to try and bite them during their conversation. NEIL grabs DILLON’S arm and pulls him away into the store after some gestured, hushed bickering.)
JOE: That’s when your brain processes what you say before you start spewing it out your mouth. And you, my friend—(Condescendingly pats his shoulder.)—don’t have one. Leave the thinking to me, alright buddy?
BOBBIE: But—
JOE: In other words, CAN IT! (Slaps the back of his head.)
BOBBIE: Ow!
JOE: Yeah, ow! (He turns around, and sees DILLON is gone.) What the hell? Little freak musta’ shuffled off! (He looks down at the hat that he knocked off DILLON’S head, and kicks it.) Forget it, let’s go!
BOBBIE: Where?
JOE: I, ah…
BOBBIE: Yeah?
JOE: (He looks at every stage exit, before finally picking one at random.) Uh… THAT one!
(He runs off. BOBBIE sighs and jogs that way. It’s quiet for several seconds.)
DILLON: (Hushed, unseen to the audience) They gone?
NEIL: (Also unseen.) Shhh. Hold on. (He pokes his head out a second time and looks around before disappearing again.) Yeah. Come on.
(DILLON and NEIL come out the door. DILLON sighs in relief and walks over to pick up his hat.)
DILLON: Dang, that was a close one. (Slaps him in the back of the head, knocking his hat off again.) Ow!
NEIL: Yeah, ow! What in the blazes was going through your head, boy?
DILLON: (Picks up his hat again.) I don’t know, I was just being a zombie!
NEIL: That’s just looking like you want to get killed.
DILLON: But that’s what they do in the movies!
NEIL: What?
DILLON: You know! Night of the living whatever? George Romero? Repent for the end is somethin’ somethin’?
(Silence.)
NEIL: What?
DILLON: (Groans.) Come on, old man, we were doing it just a second ago!
NEIL: Doing what?
DILLON: The walk! The thing all zombies are supposed to do! You know… (Imitates their shuffling from the beginning of the scene.)
NEIL: That? I dropped that arm I was chewing on, I was looking for it. What were you doing?
DILLON: (Another silence, before getting sheepish.) I was, uh. I was just doing what you were doing, Neil, I thought you were—
NEIL: Boy, how’d you even get bit if you don’t know what a zombie acts like?
DILLON: I… I don’t know. I wasn’t paying attention when it happened, I figured it was just somebody sick in the head.
NEIL: (He sighs in exasperation, before walking up to Neil and clapping his hand on his shoulder.) Dillon, son, if you wanna survive out here without getting a shotgun in the head, you got a lot to learn.
DILLON: Can you show me?
NEIL: Sure.
DILLON: Seriously?! (Excited.) Shoot, man, I’m gonna be learning from Ash Williams right here!
(Silence.)
NEIL: What?
DILLON: Forget it.
NEIL: (Confused, but decides to shrug it off.) Alright. First off. No more walking around like you lost your wallet at four in the morning. You got lucky, most people shoot us where we stand. You see or hear guns? Just run, none of that shuffling… whatever that was. You get out of there.
DILLON: Right.
NEIL: (Eventually finds that arm he was talking about. He picks it up and starts chewing on it. He looks thoughtful. He leans on the wall of the store. DILLON does the same.) Now, say you get a loner with no gun. If you’re hungry and you got surprise on your side, best way to catch ‘em is to get ‘em in a corner. Helps if it’s dark. Most of the time they leave the door open right for ya. No idea why, but it makes it a heck of a lot easier.
DILLON: Just like in—(Pauses, realizes NEIL probably won’t get it.) … nevermind. So say a fella’s bylonesome and he got a gun?
NEIL: (Passes the arm over to DILLON. DILLON pauses to look at it and turn it over like it’s something he’s never tried before. Then he shrugs and bites in.) If they got a gun, they’re normally not worth getting your head blown off about. But if they’re by themselves, they’re normally dumb too.
DILLON: ‘Cause he’s usually trying to play hero, right?
NEIL: Yeah, actually. How’d you know that?
DILLON: Just a guess.
NEIL: (A little confused again, but he moves on.) Gas stations are a good idea to hang around in too for a meal.
DILLON: Gas stations?
(During NEIL’S explanation, an attractive HOT ZOMBIE lady walks by. She shuffles around like any other zombies you see out of the movies. She moans and hisses to herself as she does. NEIL doesn’t pay any attention to her, but she catches DILLON’S eye. He slowly lowers the arm he’s been chewing on, and watches her walk by.)
NEIL: Yep. Like sittin’ at a diner. Every time I think there couldn’t be any more gas left on this planet anymore, I see them in cars. It’s actually pretty smart, I’ll give ‘em that. But it runs outta gas eventually. That’s when they start looking for gas stations. (Chuckles.) Like there’s any gas left in this city. They usually find them. And us. Now, you can either stay in big groups are little groups. It goes either way. When there’s a lot of us undead, it’s a good way to overpower ‘em. But it’s easy to get shot, too. If you’re on your own, it’s easy to sneak up on ‘em. But that’s another easy way to get shot. It can go either—hey! Are you listening?
DILLON: (Snaps out of it.) What?
NEIL: What did I just say?
DILLON: You, uh. Gas stations. Gimme a minute. (He takes off his hat and approaches HOT ZOMBIE.) Hey there! Uh. Lovely weather we’re having, you think?
NEIL: (Rolls his eyes when he sees what DILLON is doing, and stomps over to him to pull him away.) Come on, now. You wanna keep your head? And the rest of you?
MID-MORNING OF THE DEAD
CHARACTERS:
DILLON: Young, fresh zombie with a cowboy hat. In his early twenties, and something of a country boy with a southern accent.
NEIL: Older, veteran zombie showing DILLON how to deal with being undead. Used to be a county sheriff before he got was bit. Has a limp because of a barely-there leg.
JOE: Stereotypical “city slicker” survivor who’s trying to escape the city with fellow survivor BOBBIE. Hot-headed leader between the two, often falls victim to horror movie clichés.
BOBBIE: Another “city slicker” type. Questioning of JOE’S actions occasionally but his suggestions tend to fall flat.
HOT ZOMBIE: Your typical shuffling, moaning zombie. The only female in the story, who DILLON constantly (and unsuccessfully) tries to flirt with.
SETTING:
The action of this play takes place on a trashed street of an unnamed city. Blood, decay, trash, and abandoned belongings litter it, the result of the zombie apocalypse. There’s an empty convenience store in the background, equally trashed from having been looted in the past. Also in the background to the left of the convenience store is a dank alley. On both sides of the stage there should be enough room for actors to move from one end to the other.
(It’s the middle of the morning and another day in the zombie apocalypse. It’s gloomy and has an air of what you would expect from a horror movie. Eerie music begins to play as DILLON and NEIL enter, shuffling around in typical zombie gait. They wander the stage aimlessly for about five seconds before a gunshot seems to snap them out of it. Their heads shoot up to look in the direction of the sound. NEIL immediately limps in the convenience store. He motions for DILLON to follow, but in a panic DILLON freezes. As JOE and BOBBIE run on stage from the right with guns, DILLON poses like the zombies he’s seen in his favorite horror movies when he was human. He stares at the ground and sways back and forth to make it seem like he hasn’t noticed them. JOE and BOBBIE stop center stage and look around.)
BOBBIE: You got any idea of where the hell we are?
JOE: Of course I do! (He clearly doesn’t.) Whaddaya think I am?!
BOBBIE: Joe, I think we’re lost.
JOE: Shaddap! (BOBBIE visibly flinches, which amuses JOE.) This is why I’M the brains of this operation, smart guy. (He’s clearly not.) Now let’s see, uh…
(BOBBIE watches JOE unamused as he wanders around the stage, trying to figure out where to go. NEIL pokes his head out the window of the convenience store, but quickly ducks back down when JOE turns around and sees DILLON.)
JOE: Well look-ee what we got here! This one looks like he wandered a little too far away from home! (He approaches DILLON and looks him over. He lifts his hat off with the tip of his gun and points it at his head with sadistic pleasure. DILLON doesn’t do anything, but his “zombie” act is wavering in fear.) You wouldn’t look so ugly with your head gone…
(Hearing that, NEIL tries to sneak through the door out. He slowly creeps up behind JOE and BOBBIE as they talk to figure out how to save DILLON. They don’t notice.)
BOBBIE: I dunno. This one looks dumb, it’s not doing anything. We ought to save our bullets for something that’s actually going to fight ba—
JOE: (Annoyed, he puts down the gun and turns to BOBBIE.) Bobbie. You ever heard of a brain to mouth filter?
BOBBIE: What?
(JOE his hand on his shoulder and turns him away from DILLON. NEIL sees his chance and edges along the walls of the convenience store to grab DILLON. DILLON, with a newfound confidence now that there’s no gun pointed to his head, creeps behind the two survivors to try and bite them during their conversation. NEIL grabs DILLON’S arm and pulls him away into the store after some gestured, hushed bickering.)
JOE: That’s when your brain processes what you say before you start spewing it out your mouth. And you, my friend—(Condescendingly pats his shoulder.)—don’t have one. Leave the thinking to me, alright buddy?
BOBBIE: But—
JOE: In other words, CAN IT! (Slaps the back of his head.)
BOBBIE: Ow!
JOE: Yeah, ow! (He turns around, and sees DILLON is gone.) What the hell? Little freak musta’ shuffled off! (He looks down at the hat that he knocked off DILLON’S head, and kicks it.) Forget it, let’s go!
BOBBIE: Where?
JOE: I, ah…
BOBBIE: Yeah?
JOE: (He looks at every stage exit, before finally picking one at random.) Uh… THAT one!
(He runs off. BOBBIE sighs and jogs that way. It’s quiet for several seconds.)
DILLON: (Hushed, unseen to the audience) They gone?
NEIL: (Also unseen.) Shhh. Hold on. (He pokes his head out a second time and looks around before disappearing again.) Yeah. Come on.
(DILLON and NEIL come out the door. DILLON sighs in relief and walks over to pick up his hat.)
DILLON: Dang, that was a close one. (Slaps him in the back of the head, knocking his hat off again.) Ow!
NEIL: Yeah, ow! What in the blazes was going through your head, boy?
DILLON: (Picks up his hat again.) I don’t know, I was just being a zombie!
NEIL: That’s just looking like you want to get killed.
DILLON: But that’s what they do in the movies!
NEIL: What?
DILLON: You know! Night of the living whatever? George Romero? Repent for the end is somethin’ somethin’?
(Silence.)
NEIL: What?
DILLON: (Groans.) Come on, old man, we were doing it just a second ago!
NEIL: Doing what?
DILLON: The walk! The thing all zombies are supposed to do! You know… (Imitates their shuffling from the beginning of the scene.)
NEIL: That? I dropped that arm I was chewing on, I was looking for it. What were you doing?
DILLON: (Another silence, before getting sheepish.) I was, uh. I was just doing what you were doing, Neil, I thought you were—
NEIL: Boy, how’d you even get bit if you don’t know what a zombie acts like?
DILLON: I… I don’t know. I wasn’t paying attention when it happened, I figured it was just somebody sick in the head.
NEIL: (He sighs in exasperation, before walking up to Neil and clapping his hand on his shoulder.) Dillon, son, if you wanna survive out here without getting a shotgun in the head, you got a lot to learn.
DILLON: Can you show me?
NEIL: Sure.
DILLON: Seriously?! (Excited.) Shoot, man, I’m gonna be learning from Ash Williams right here!
(Silence.)
NEIL: What?
DILLON: Forget it.
NEIL: (Confused, but decides to shrug it off.) Alright. First off. No more walking around like you lost your wallet at four in the morning. You got lucky, most people shoot us where we stand. You see or hear guns? Just run, none of that shuffling… whatever that was. You get out of there.
DILLON: Right.
NEIL: (Eventually finds that arm he was talking about. He picks it up and starts chewing on it. He looks thoughtful. He leans on the wall of the store. DILLON does the same.) Now, say you get a loner with no gun. If you’re hungry and you got surprise on your side, best way to catch ‘em is to get ‘em in a corner. Helps if it’s dark. Most of the time they leave the door open right for ya. No idea why, but it makes it a heck of a lot easier.
DILLON: Just like in—(Pauses, realizes NEIL probably won’t get it.) … nevermind. So say a fella’s bylonesome and he got a gun?
NEIL: (Passes the arm over to DILLON. DILLON pauses to look at it and turn it over like it’s something he’s never tried before. Then he shrugs and bites in.) If they got a gun, they’re normally not worth getting your head blown off about. But if they’re by themselves, they’re normally dumb too.
DILLON: ‘Cause he’s usually trying to play hero, right?
NEIL: Yeah, actually. How’d you know that?
DILLON: Just a guess.
NEIL: (A little confused again, but he moves on.) Gas stations are a good idea to hang around in too for a meal.
DILLON: Gas stations?
(During NEIL’S explanation, an attractive HOT ZOMBIE lady walks by. She shuffles around like any other zombies you see out of the movies. She moans and hisses to herself as she does. NEIL doesn’t pay any attention to her, but she catches DILLON’S eye. He slowly lowers the arm he’s been chewing on, and watches her walk by.)
NEIL: Yep. Like sittin’ at a diner. Every time I think there couldn’t be any more gas left on this planet anymore, I see them in cars. It’s actually pretty smart, I’ll give ‘em that. But it runs outta gas eventually. That’s when they start looking for gas stations. (Chuckles.) Like there’s any gas left in this city. They usually find them. And us. Now, you can either stay in big groups are little groups. It goes either way. When there’s a lot of us undead, it’s a good way to overpower ‘em. But it’s easy to get shot, too. If you’re on your own, it’s easy to sneak up on ‘em. But that’s another easy way to get shot. It can go either—hey! Are you listening?
DILLON: (Snaps out of it.) What?
NEIL: What did I just say?
DILLON: You, uh. Gas stations. Gimme a minute. (He takes off his hat and approaches HOT ZOMBIE.) Hey there! Uh. Lovely weather we’re having, you think?
NEIL: (Rolls his eyes when he sees what DILLON is doing, and stomps over to him to pull him away.) Come on, now. You wanna keep your head? And the rest of you?