thought dumping some more
Jun. 3rd, 2012 12:38 amI watched Rumble Fish tonight with Matt Dillon and Mickey Rourke. I really loved it. But those kind of movies always get to me. The confused-kid-trying-to-figure-out-his-place-in-the-world, you know?
But Matt Dillon's character was younger than me. It makes me wonder if I'm too immature. I'm 21 and I still have no real, solid clue what I wanna do with my life. I still live with my mom and dad because my school is close enough that we figured there was no point in me moving out and worrying about the cost of living and every thing. But sometimes I get sick of college sometimes. Some days I'm just plain tired of classes and figuring out what I wanna do still and all that shit. Sometimes I wanna just kick my ass out in the world. Where would I go? What the hell would I do? I don't know yet. That terrifies me more than anything now. I love my family. I love my home. I'm comfortable and I'm happy. And being away from my family scares the shit out of me too.
Sometimes I don't think I'm smart enough either. Or mature enough. Especially mature. I don't know. I feel really conflicted right now, and really restless.
But Matt Dillon's character was younger than me. It makes me wonder if I'm too immature. I'm 21 and I still have no real, solid clue what I wanna do with my life. I still live with my mom and dad because my school is close enough that we figured there was no point in me moving out and worrying about the cost of living and every thing. But sometimes I get sick of college sometimes. Some days I'm just plain tired of classes and figuring out what I wanna do still and all that shit. Sometimes I wanna just kick my ass out in the world. Where would I go? What the hell would I do? I don't know yet. That terrifies me more than anything now. I love my family. I love my home. I'm comfortable and I'm happy. And being away from my family scares the shit out of me too.
Sometimes I don't think I'm smart enough either. Or mature enough. Especially mature. I don't know. I feel really conflicted right now, and really restless.